Happy Valentine’s Day from the editors of Obsolessons! We’re working on getting some new content up soon, but in the meantime, here’s a little manual called The Art of Kissing to tide you over!
The business man whose speech does not rise above the quality of “I beat him to it”; “He slipped one over on me”; “They couldn’t deliver the goods,” i.e., perform their promises; who “chews the rag” about “such a business” “sounding good to him”; who believes that he “said a mouthful” when he acquiesced with an “I’ll say so,” is calculated to “jar you” and is one who is not likely to rise himself.
Likewise the woman of the “awfully nice” class, who adores lobster, wants it the worst way, but is not stuck on the place and would rather go some place else where the eats are better, might pass for a woman of refinement if she could keep her mouth shut until she had learned to say correctly what she has to say.
Editor’s note: Further circumlocutions on the subject of intercourse. If you were told this, and only this, wouldn’t you still be totally confused?
When a man and a woman love each other enough to forsake all others and cleave (that is, cling) to each other as long as they both shall live, they marry. They have made love to each other, during their courtship and engagement. But after they have become man and wife, a further experience, which is called intercourse, awaits them.
If they desire it, their love-making may sometimes have a wonderful result. One of the millions of sperms I told you about joins the ovum that is traveling toward the uterus. When these two tiny life-bearing particles, a male sperm and a female ovum, unite, we say that the ovum has been fertilized. Another way of expressing it is to say that the wife has become pregnant.
So far I’ve been telling you a great truth. But to be absolutely fair and square with you, I’ll have to confess that what I’ve told you is in reality only half the truth, the beautiful half of a truth that has a very unhappy, sordid, dreadful side. I’ve told you that this business of creating a new life is the result of the act of a man and a woman who love each other well enough to become man and wife for life. The ceremony that blesses their union is a beautiful piece of consecration;
but it in itself does nor have anything to do with creating the new life. It is intercourse alone that makes that possible.
Now the other half of this wonderful truth is, that it sometimes happens that two people who do not love each other at all, or who love each ocher without having any right to have the experience we have been talking about that creates a new life, because they are not married, try to get it without any regard to whether it is right or wrong. What they are after is the physical sensation and thrill that they expect to get out of the experience; and the last thing they want or
expect is to create a new life as a result of it.
Enjoying your daily Obsolessons and want to see them in your news feed? Like us on Facebook!
Have obviously never read some of the frankly bizarre advice our grandparents thought fit to commit to print. Obsolessons is here to bring you the questionable wisdom of our ancestors, with the occasional useful tip like how to gild a live fish. Because how could that NOT come in handy?