Editor’s note: We here at Obsolessons know that many of you are preparing your homes for the holiday season. In that spirit, we offer you this tip that is sure to add a touch of class to your home and celebrations.

Editor’s second note, just in case: Please don’t actually try to gild a fish. This is offered for entertainment purposes only. We don’t actually believe the last sentence of this paragraph.

To Gild Live Fish

To Gild Live Fish — Smear the inside of an earthen bowl with white pitch, warm it gently, and scatter pulverized amber over the pitch. Remove from the fire, add 3 pounds of oleum lini and 1 pound of oleum terebinth mixed together. Cover and boil for 1 hour with gentle eat. Mix with pumice stone to the consistency of paint. Take a live fish from the water, dry it by means of a cloth, and apply this paint with a brush. Immediately spread gold leaf over it and rub dry with a soft cloth. Return the fish to the water. The longer this varnish is under water the harder it grows, and it does the fish no harm.